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Posted by: Simon Sep 22 2011, 06:29 PM

A friend of mine is an english citizen, who has worked full time for over 10 years and has never claimed anything from the government before.

She has now hit a rough patch in her life and requires help but is not getting anything of what she needs.

She is 20 weeks pregnant and has just split from her boyfriend, she has no where to live and does not accrue enough points with council to get housing.

She has been offered a room at a b&b in slough (even though she works in Newbury) or a room at a half way house sharing bathroom facilities with the other guests. This place does not look or sound safe for her.

Does anyone know of way she could be helped or anyone else she can speak to?

Posted by: Vodabury Sep 22 2011, 08:03 PM

If the father cannot be traced or is unable/unwilling to give financial help, you could always let her stay in your house.

I do not see how the Council (council tax payer) has let you or her down - as your post title suggests.

I hope things work out for her.

Rgds

Posted by: On the edge Sep 22 2011, 08:06 PM

The CAB might be able to offer some practical advice and would certainly know of contacts who could offer real help. I know someone in a not too dissimilar predicament they at least steered in a good direction. Hope she can get some relief from her troubles soon.

Posted by: Simon Sep 22 2011, 08:41 PM

I believe the council has let her down by not being able to find her decent accommodation especially considering she has paid both tax and council tax for many many years.

I would have hoped that as a tax payer, I would be looked after if I hit a rough patch. So many other people seem to be able to get housing provided for them

Posted by: Simon Sep 22 2011, 08:43 PM

She has been to the CAB but not much luck. The council seem to be only offering her the halfway house or the b&b in slough

Hopefully something will happen for her

Posted by: Turin Machine Sep 22 2011, 08:49 PM

I'm sorry , but you can't just magic housing out of thin air. There are lots of people with familys in the same boat.

Posted by: Vodabury Sep 22 2011, 08:55 PM

If she has been paying council tax on a property, then I wonder why she is suddenly homeless.

Again, can't you put her up for a bit till she gets sorted?

Thanks

Posted by: Simon Sep 22 2011, 09:01 PM

She is homeless as it was her boyfriends house, and unfortunately I am not in a situation to have her stay at mine

The more I am finding out about how many people need housing the scarier it gets.

I have been very naive and assumed that if you needed housing you got it, as according to the media, every jobless, druggie, immigrant has a council house

Posted by: Andy Capp Sep 22 2011, 09:14 PM

Sadly, it is going to get worse before better.

Posted by: Rachel Sep 22 2011, 09:19 PM

Try the housing charity Shelter. They gave fantastic advice to a friend a while back, & told her straight facts when the Benefits Agency had misinformed her....possibly because they didn't know the facts??? I wish her luck & that she can be re-housed locally; she's clearly trying to continue to help herself by carrying on working, she deserves abit of support.

Posted by: Vodabury Sep 22 2011, 09:25 PM

Ok. Boyfriend has a house (and therefore an income?) so perhaps her first call for funding (assuming he is the father) is on him and not the tax payer?

Posted by: Richard Garvie Sep 22 2011, 09:44 PM

Pass on my details: 07411 488324 or email me their details to info@richardgarvie.com. I am happy to take this up on her behalf to see what can be done.

Posted by: Strafin Sep 22 2011, 10:03 PM

I am surprised that she can't get a house, when we were in a "rough patch" we were told by the council to get pregnant and then we would most likely get a house and quickly. Would the half way house or B&B not just be temporary while they find something for her? If I could just put my judgemental hat on for a minute (rarely take it off), this just acts as another example of people getting pregnant in unstable relationships, getting into trouble and expecting to be bailed out. It seems to happen far too often these days.

Posted by: Turin Machine Sep 22 2011, 10:12 PM

Its possible, its also possible she's a victim. perhaps she didn't mean to get pregnant and that what ended the relationship. Only they will know for sure. and full marks to Richard for trying to help. perhaps a call from some one to "my mate Benny" might help as well !

Posted by: spartacus Sep 22 2011, 10:25 PM

'Help needed'...maybe ........but remind me again... WHY is this the Council's fault?

She's not quite as desperate as you make out then is she.....
Far too sniffy to consider a place where she might have to share facilities until she gets herself back on her feet.... Perhaps the people who live there temporarily are in a similar position to her?


And why would she (and you) think that just because she may have been paying a few quid to the Council to get her bins emptied, roads swept, (etc) over the years that she'd be able to walk straight into a place of her own because she's had an argument with the bf...

As a tax payer I'm fed up with the number on spongers who want everything delivered to them on a plate when things go tits-up.




But Hark! Is that the sweet sound of righteous indignation I hear? Approach, Sir Richard Garvalot and rescue this poor maiden from her perilous fate....

Posted by: Strafin Sep 22 2011, 10:32 PM

There is no minimum amount of points - you can apply for any housing with any number of points, you might not get it, but you can apply. Also housing decisions aren't based on points alone, circumstances are considered for all applicants, so says a WBC representative.

Posted by: Andy Capp Sep 22 2011, 10:33 PM

I pray that I don't fall on hard times, or have a savage twist of fate and end up relying somewhat on the 'charitable nature' of the 'good folk' of Newbury.

Posted by: spartacus Sep 22 2011, 10:48 PM

Why's that? Don't you like to share bathroom facilities either?!!

sheesh....

Posted by: Vodabury Sep 22 2011, 10:58 PM

If Simon really cared for his friend he would let her stay at his house and stop making excuses and passing blame.

Posted by: Andy Capp Sep 22 2011, 10:59 PM

Like I said...

Posted by: Vodabury Sep 22 2011, 11:33 PM

All at peace

Posted by: Turin Machine Sep 22 2011, 11:37 PM

Ahhh, the tried and tested "samaritan" conundrum.

Posted by: xjay1337 Sep 23 2011, 12:34 AM

Interesting topic. If she's young and attractive she can stay at mine. I even have a double bed.

Posted by: Simon Sep 23 2011, 06:50 AM

Cheers for your helpful advise vodabury!!!!

But a genuine thank you to those who have offered suggestions and Richard, she will be in touch today - thank you

And for those mocking why she doesn't want shared bathrooms, it's nothing about being snobby, just the fact she needs the toilet about every two hours and doesn't feel safe walking down a corridor at night on her own

Posted by: Simon Sep 23 2011, 07:28 AM

Not sure how she can be classed as a sponger, she works and pays taxes like everyone else, things just haven't gone her way lately and she needs help - She is not asking for cash handouts, just help in finding affordable housing.

Posted by: Simon Sep 23 2011, 07:35 AM

As this is the third time you have suggested this to me (don't know why I didn't think of it myself) I thought I would reply

I wish I could help, but a) I don't have the room in my house, im expecting my first baby any week now c) my origional thought was why the **** do we as taxpayers fork out for council housing all our lives and then really struggle to get help if/when we need it

All she wants is a little help and not unhelpful comments

Posted by: Vodabury Sep 23 2011, 08:17 AM

In your first post you state that she has been offered two lots of accommodation. She has had help, but seemingly it is not good enough?

How about finding the father and getting some assistance from him? What about her parents and other family?

Years back when I lived in a one bedroom flat I put someone up for 6 weeks. They slept on my my sofa and we shared a bathroom and kitchen. It was a tight squeeze but it helped them out until they sorted their own accommodation.

I really hope she gets sorted out, she is in touch with CAB and WBC, but I am afraid she is one of many on the waiting list for accommodation. I think you might have to help her in managing expectations.

Regards

Posted by: Andy1 Sep 23 2011, 08:51 AM

Simon, this is always typical of the type of responses you get on this forum. It's usually a minority. They're entitled to their opinion which is the point of the forum but then in the eyes of the new comers it doesn't make it a very helpful or useful one to join.

Posted by: xjay1337 Sep 23 2011, 10:00 AM

I think none of the responses have been beyond the boundaries of pleasant conversation...after all the points made by all are very valid.

My offer still stands.

Posted by: Simon Sep 23 2011, 10:37 AM

I will let her know

Posted by: Biker1 Sep 23 2011, 01:59 PM

Is this a new use for the forum then?

I think, if anyone who falls on hard times (whether their fault or not) comes begging to a newspaper discussion forum then I think it may become a little clogged.

I am struggling a bit at the moment, 2 kids at uni, pay cut, fuel bills going up, food bills going up, getting less for my taxes etc.
Anyone help??

Posted by: Simon Sep 23 2011, 02:45 PM

No I was asking if anyone knew how to help. Lots of people must have been or know people in similar situations and maybe someone knew where to get advise / help.

Where has the begging come into it?

I though that was what forums were for? seeking advice and discussing topics? Obviously this one is mainly about taking the p**s out of people. If you dont like the topic, why comment?

Posted by: Blue Sep 23 2011, 03:25 PM

Well said!

I am fairly new on here and can't believe some of what I read, just don't take the comments of a few, who let's face it, seem to have a heck of a lot of spare time on their hands, as fair sample of the attitude of Newbury folk.

I wish her every success for the future.

Posted by: Biker1 Sep 23 2011, 03:28 PM

OK fair enough, you weren't begging and were merely asking advice. I retract my comments and apologise.
It was intended to be a bit tongue in cheek though.
I too wish her all the best but still feel, like it or not, that people really do need to take more responsibility for their own actions.
As I don't know the full details of what has happened to her maybe I am wrong to say that too.
If so, again in her case, I apologise.

Posted by: Strafin Sep 23 2011, 11:01 PM

If you don't like the response why don't you ignore it or not post on an opinions forum in the first place? I am sure there are plenty of advice sites around, you are on the internet after all...

Posted by: Andy Capp Sep 24 2011, 07:54 AM

Yes and let the pious three headed hump-backed locals on here spout their sanctimonious right wing waffle in peace *and promptly disappears in a puff of righteousness*

Like I said earlier, I pray that I don't fall on hard times, or have a savage twist of fate and end up relying somewhat on the 'charitable nature' of the 'good folk' of Newbury.

Posted by: Strafin Sep 24 2011, 10:58 AM

But this website is not representative of the people of Newbury, it's a small percentage of people who have an interest in local issues and like to vent their spleens. Why should they be charitable? And why should they not be allowed to put what they like, when others can. The piousness and intolerance always comes from those who think that anyone who disagrees with them is "right wing" and therefore deformed in some way and therefore not entitled to an opinion. All those exclaiming that this woman "must" be helped at all costs make me want to help less.

Posted by: Andy Capp Sep 24 2011, 11:14 AM

Did I say you should be charitable and shouldn't be allowed to say what you think? I think that a number of people's comments on here are simply uncharitable in spirit if not in practice. What is so hard about being kind natured, if not helpful?


I said that? Where? The rest was a joke.


That is up to you and your conscience.

Like you said yourself, this is an area for posting opinions and comment and that is what I am doing. Frankly, I think some people's attitude on here embarrass Newbury if not southerners. But then this is a safe Tory seat; what else should I expect.

PS I admire Biker1 and his humility; he gets it.

Posted by: Strafin Sep 24 2011, 11:34 AM

No you didn't say it, but it is the implication of various posts on this forum, in other subjects too. I did not mean to single you out personally.
I also think that most postings on here are the to the extremes of peoples genuine feelings, a text only view of everybody is kind of dehumanising. Finally I think that this is entirely the wrong place to be asking for help, however if you're desperate everything is worth a shot, I just don't think you shouuld get upset if you don't get the response you were after.

Posted by: Andy Capp Sep 24 2011, 11:37 AM

That is fine. But doesn't anyone look back on their posts and not think: that wasn't nice, or I shouldn't have said that? I would (and do).

Posted by: Strafin Sep 24 2011, 11:48 AM

All the time, but I don't care that much, it is just a forum after all.

Posted by: spartacus Sep 24 2011, 11:48 AM

I don't.....

Posted by: Andy Capp Sep 24 2011, 11:51 AM

...

Posted by: pinkfluffyclouds Sep 24 2011, 01:10 PM

After I married and became pregnant our landlord evicted us as he didn't want a child in his house. We also went to the Council and due to us being classed as homeless we were put into a B&B. Not a nice place but you have to be thankful that you have a roof over your head.

It took 7 months for us to be homed in a one bed flat. The flat was floor to ceiling mould and apparently the previous tenant had been moved out by Environmental Health !!! But once again you have to be thankful for a roof over your head and make the best out of it.

We were told though that what had gone against us was that we were married (a single girl in the B&B with us at the same time with one child was housed in a two bed house).

I don't think you can expect to be given a flat or house within days of asking for one. If you have to go in B&B then that is what you have to do - you either want a place to stay or you don't. Too many young women out there think that by getting pregnant they automatically qualify for housing. More need to be built unfortunately.

Posted by: Welshy Sep 24 2011, 01:39 PM

Strafin, im sure you're not so perfect yourself. Are you telling me you have never made any mistakes in your life?

Posted by: Lestat Sep 24 2011, 02:12 PM

@Strafin - for a 44 year old man I'm sure your life has been perfect (not) how can you have the audacity to condemn a young mother to be, she has never been in this position in her life before it's all new to her, she has no clue where she will be in the near future, the council are living upto there usual expectations, her family are trying to help her out anywhere possible even on here where there's pol like you at the ready to condemn anyone asking for help at there most vulnerablist, how does it make you feel sat in front of your computer slandering anyone you disagree with knowing they will never know who is dashing there dreams of help, take a hard look at your life before judging others, have you ever asked anyone for help in your life?

@ the girl that needs help ( sry forgot your username)

try gumtree or roombuddies , or you can look in the newbury weekly on here under properties for rent with private landlords, sry bout ppl like Strafin, were not all like that

Posted by: Strafin Sep 24 2011, 02:42 PM

My life has been far from perfect, if you go and read the thread, you will see that I went to the council for help and didn't get anything offered apart from bad advice. I didn't condemn the mother to be, I condemned our society by saying that here we have another example of someone getting pregnant without the means to provide for themselves or their unborn baby. I don't have a lot of sympathy for her, but I don't know all the circumstances, perhaps she was raped? It doesn't seem likely though, so I am only forming my opinion on the information given.

Posted by: Lestat Sep 24 2011, 03:04 PM

Did it ever occur to you that she never dreamed of being single with an unborn baby at the time she concieved, maybe she had everything she needed, finical support, roof over her head, the father of her baby was there but then suddenly it was taking away from her and now she is left with this predicament, she's probably going through alot of stress as it is and you may of made things worse by being rude and arrogant, and off u have had problems with council in the past would of it hurt you to be more hospitable towards a women in need to of offered her some helpful advice with the experience you have had with a young mum to be that has had no experience with this whatsoever, she deserves an apology with those remarks you have made and the way you have come across. how do you know she hasn't reached rock bottom and your comments have left her distraught?

Posted by: xjay1337 Sep 24 2011, 03:05 PM

When I was forced out at 18, I had to pull my finger out and make the best of a bad situation. It wasn't the council, it was the DWP who did it (so more Government than local constituency) however the point is that I didn't ask for help on a forum.

When Strafin says

he's not really saying anything rude. Now we don't understand fully the conditions surrounding the pregnancy, the relationship that went sour, etc - but I think whether someone is pregnant or not shouldn't really affect their claim for housing. Nor should being pregnant be a ticket for queue jumping over other people. If you want a child you should really sit down, talk things out with your spouse (or hooker if that's the situation) and work out whether you both really want them, whether you can financially afford it, whether your relationship is in a position to cope with the added strain.

The only thing worse than having a baby when you can't afford it is having a baby without a father. Believe me I should know.



^ agree.

Posted by: Lestat Sep 24 2011, 03:28 PM

Hooker lol, who u hang around with lol,
yes I agree with most what you say except the part about women getting pregnant in order to qualify for housing, now I'm sure there maybe a small minority that concoct a plan with there partners to be housed but should we tar all mothers to be with the same brush, for all we know he might of found out he was a father, didn't want to know, dumped her and kicked her out of the house they shared together, all I'm saying is we don't know how she came to be in this situation and Strafin said that also, which makes me wonder why he was quick to condemn her for seeking help if he does'nt know all the facts, I'm just glad he isn't a judge, cause innocent until proven guilty would be non existent.
it angered me also when he said she could of been raped, so wrong in so many ways, what's happened to the respect of women these days?

Posted by: Strafin Sep 24 2011, 03:59 PM

I think you need to try and understand what people are saying rather than being so angry. I said she could have been raped in order to put into perspective just how much somebody might not have chosen their predicament. I was trying to show a bit of balance.

Posted by: Lestat Sep 24 2011, 04:13 PM

Then give that girl a break and offer some helpful advice rather than saying it's her fault and she don't deserve help. I'm sure she could dreamed of something 10 times better for herself and her baby than where she is right now, she could of been in an violent relationship for all we know and she had to run for her life who knows, who are we to judge why she needs the help, and it was the word rape that angered me could u not of used a different prospective?

Posted by: Strafin Sep 24 2011, 04:18 PM

You are aware that the girl herself is not on this forum right? And that I have not said that she does not deserve help? Again I think you need to go back and read what I am actually saying before getting too upset. Also the word for rape is rape, without using it I could not have put the point across. This is an adult forum.

Posted by: Lestat Sep 24 2011, 04:49 PM

Do you remember this statement?
All those exclaiming that this woman "must" be helped at all costs make me want to help less.

and your trying to act like your being balanced, advice was all she was asking for and all your showing is ignorance, admit that you may of been harsh and end this topic, cause all your doing is trying to justify ur actions on this thread towards that that poor girl for whatever reasons she may find herself in this predicament, imagine if it was ur daughter would you treat her the same way Or help as much as u can?

Posted by: CBW137Y Sep 24 2011, 05:48 PM

I'm rather glad I don't live in Newbury any more if this is the attitude.

I'm 26 weeks pregnant, my partner has left me. I work part time, and my tenancy is due to end on 7th November. I cannot afford the rent on my own, and do not qualify for Statutory Maternity Pay, so have to take Maternity Allowance. That's right....I'll be a mum on benefits!

I've worked since leaving school at 16 without a break in employment. I am now on the housing list, but am not classed as a housing priority. So, you can imagine my panic, and increasing blood pressure at the moment.

Without knowing the full circumstances of someones situation, one shouldn't make assumptions. I have to admit, I'd be a bit reluctant to accept the B&B offer, but I guess needs must. We don't have this offer in the area I now live.

If any of your kindly persons on this forum have a spare room to rent, do let me know

**climbs down off pregnancy hormone soap box and goes back to Celeb Masterchef**

Posted by: xjay1337 Sep 24 2011, 05:54 PM

Depending your age and cup size you could share mine.

However if you were that desperate for a place to stay, rather than go "oh, I'll stay at a B&B if I have to.." with the reluctancy, how about jumping for joy at the fact you'll get a roof over your head? Unless you'd rather live on the bridge in Northbrook Street with that guy and his dog..

Posted by: Lestat Sep 24 2011, 05:55 PM

Hi cb , congrats on the pregnancy, have u checked gumtree or room buddies. Your find a place for sure

Posted by: CBW137Y Sep 24 2011, 05:58 PM

xjay1337 - your comment is ignorant and childish. I suggest you re-read my post in whole.

Lesat, am still exploring other options at the moment in the county in which I now live. I have another month to go until I need to rely on breathing into a brown paper bag to calm down!

Posted by: xjay1337 Sep 24 2011, 06:04 PM

I think I read what I needed to. Your life story was irrelevant to the comment you made, which I've highlighted in bold for easy reference (I'm just that kind). If I had no place to stay and got offered a manky old B&B, I'd be very appreciative of the fact I wasn't on the street!

Posted by: Lestat Sep 24 2011, 06:18 PM

And the answer lays within your bed does it? I think that's just for your own means and not of the lady that's in need of help, try a dating site and not a news forum.

@cb - if you need a help in anything message me, I might be able to help with advise if needs be

Posted by: Turin Machine Sep 24 2011, 06:42 PM

I think all parties need to take a step back and get their breath (and temper) back again, this is a public forum, not all comments made reflect the personality of the posters and sometimes we all like to let off a little steam.

Posted by: Strafin Sep 24 2011, 06:43 PM

CBW - Sorry you're in a bad position but it's your own fault and I'll be as judgemental as I like! I take it by using the term partner that you are not married? I wouldn't wish your predicament on anybody and hope that you manage to sort something out, but it is your fault, and you have been either really stupid or really naive. You do deserve a sympathetic ear and a little help as does any other human being who has been foolish, however you should also accept that some of us have a right to be disappointed that this has happened again. Sitting back and accepting all manner of promiscuous lifestyles is what has got our society into the state it is in now.

Posted by: Strafin Sep 24 2011, 06:45 PM

And Turin machine is right. But I was typing while he posted.

Posted by: Lestat Sep 24 2011, 06:53 PM

And how is it cb's fault may I ask, you must have lived a very simple life cause u have no clue bout modern day views, I'm guessing it's cb's fault she ended up alone and not the guy/fathers fault?

Posted by: xjay1337 Sep 24 2011, 06:53 PM

Obviously some people have a sense of humour failing. The OP laughed at a similar comment. This forum has too many whiny middle aged people who have grey hair and no sense of humour. The people who are whiny and grey haired with a sense of humour need not feel offended, for we are all friends.

Anyway, why would I want to date anyone who's even been to Newbury? Besides, perhaps I am already in a steady relationship.

Posted by: Lestat Sep 24 2011, 06:56 PM

and if you are your partner doesn't mind your desperation and fetish of pregnant women offering your double bed?

Posted by: xjay1337 Sep 24 2011, 07:07 PM

I'm not the desperate one, asking for rooms to rent on the NWN forums. Neither am I someone saying they're glad they're out of Newbury, asking people from Newbury if they have a room to rent. (logic#243.4 c~#failing> gotobash; EXPLODE)

Now I am neither desperate for random women nor do I have a fetish of pregnant women. In fact, ask anyone and I am the last person to chat up random women. I went out on a work doo and while some of the others were chatting up random girls, I didn't feel the need. It was simply a bit of dark humour. Now whether you find it funny or approve is neither relevant or of importance to me.

The important thing is that you don't take it as written fact, or as genuine offer. As mentioned (and conveniently skimmed over), a similar comment made before by myself which Simon, the OP, put a little smily face and said he would see what she said. Of course he wouldn't really ask her, but he saw the humour, which you seem to have failed to have done. (in otherwords you're miserable and need to lighten up, I have some Quavers I can post to you?)

You're also jumping to conclusions, I never said I had a double bed. (I do, but I didn't say that before).

Posted by: Vodabury Sep 24 2011, 07:52 PM

OK, a lot being said here.

May I just call a temporary halt to proceedings and ask a couple of admin questions, please?

1. Is anyone else suspecting that there are posts on this forum, from 2 different identities, that are in fact coming from the same household?
2. Did anyone else read the post at 12:51 hours today by <Andy Capp> before it was deleted?

Thanks

Posted by: Strafin Sep 24 2011, 07:55 PM

Because CB got herself pregnant whilst in an unstable relationship, and without the means to support herself let alone someone else.

Posted by: Strafin Sep 24 2011, 07:58 PM

Posted by: CBW137Y Sep 24 2011, 08:03 PM

Wrong.

Not that it's any of your business, but my HUSBAND and I, whom I have been married to for a number of years and who works full time had planned the pregnancy. I had absolutely no idea whatsoever that he would walk out on me for reasons which I choose not to disclose here.

Again, as I stated earlier, one should not assume without knowing the facts. I was simply commenting that life sometimes throws an unexpected curve ball, and those who find themselves in such situations should in no way be judged automatically, as far too many on here and in general society seem to do.

Posted by: Vodabury Sep 24 2011, 08:04 PM

My apologies, I should have made clear that the content was deleted, rather than the post itself.

Regards

Posted by: Lestat Sep 24 2011, 08:11 PM

xjay1337
Yesterday, 01:34 AM
Post #23


Advanced Member


Group: Members
Posts: 120
Joined: 25-August 11
Member No.: 6,962



Interesting topic. If she's young and attractive she can stay at mine. I even have a double bed.


--------------------
I'm not normal.


So that was not your statement? Hmm I'm thinking you don't have a clue what you write on here and neither was you being humorous and no one was laughing

Posted by: xjay1337 Sep 24 2011, 08:14 PM

That offer of a double bed was only to Simon. Not to you/your friend. Besides you obviously felt it important enough to drag up. You certainly weren't laughing, but I don't mind. . Also see rest of my post regarding "not taking it seriously".

Also the wonders of using the quote tool..

Posted by: Strafin Sep 24 2011, 08:14 PM

You are right, it's not really my business, but you are posting on the internet, in an open public forum. And only disclosing "bits" of information, which will lead to speculation.

Posted by: Lestat Sep 24 2011, 08:14 PM

So your saying she got herself pregnant, and she was phsychic because she knew her ex was going to be an ***, carry on living in ur own cynical little word looking down on ppl from ur high pedal stool.

Posted by: Lestat Sep 24 2011, 08:18 PM

Post #74


Advanced Member


Group: Members
Posts: 121
Joined: 25-August 11
Member No.: 6,962



That offer of a double bed was only to Simon. Not to you/your friend. Besides you obviously felt it important enough to drag up. You certainly weren't laughing, but I don't mind.

so you didn't offer your services to cb?
then I ask why she called u childish and arrogant? Hmmm

Posted by: xjay1337 Sep 24 2011, 08:18 PM

Woah woah, again with taking things literally. It's clear now that you are either a friend/relative (or have connected on E-harmony) with CWB and getting very...defensive.

Pedal stool?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1hC0nIagH4&t=0m20s

Posted by: CBW137Y Sep 24 2011, 08:22 PM

I'm in Newbury three days a week on average, so look out for me! Pic below....you can't miss me.



P.s. I don't actually know any of the other users on this site, that I am aware of. That said, Newbury's a small town so I may well have met some of the users without knowledge!

Posted by: Lestat Sep 24 2011, 08:27 PM

Too clear this up, I don't know anyone on here as I'm relatively new to this site, I moved from oxfordshire back in April, not that I'm expecting anyone to care, I'm just truly shocked at the disrespect the two pregnant ladies on this thread are getting, iv been brought up to respect women and all iv seen on this forum are disrepectful guys giving two women who only asked for advice negativity, is this what Berkshire guys are like, is it the water? Let me know cause I will stop drinking it.

Posted by: Lestat Sep 24 2011, 08:31 PM

@ xjay - pedal stool was meant for Strafin!

Posted by: Strafin Sep 24 2011, 08:33 PM

What's a pedal stool?

Posted by: Lestat Sep 24 2011, 08:37 PM

Pedestal pedal stool who cares, u knw what I meant, and if this is going to be the highlight of you day, you might want to reflect on the 2 pregnant women you have condemning all day or were they both probably raped prospectively as u call it?

Posted by: xjay1337 Sep 24 2011, 08:41 PM

Firstly, there is no disrespect. Some comments are, perhaps, a little callus, but nothing "disrespectful". This is a public forum where people are entitled to share there views so long as they don't go too far with everyone calling each other knobheads or something. No-one has really said anything beyond the "limits" of a public domain, they are simply sharing views. Views of different people which aren't in alignment create friction which creates drama - which is what the last page has been.

To brandish "berkshire guys" as disrespectful obviously shows you being a female; and probably a feminist. Now I'm all for feminists, equal rights, equal pay, etc (which I support) but it goes both ways as that pregnancy is not an excuse (or a reason) to be given accommodation. Which is the views people have shared on a public board. People have said to look for house shares, do <this>, do <that>, and whether that's been read/picked up on is beside the point that a discussion about circumstances which are not fully disclosed will take place whether you like it or not. It's the nature of a forum. If there is not 100% of the information available people will speculate. Now this is half the fault of the forum at large and half the fault of the person who brought the topic up by not giving the full information.

You said it yourself, you don't know anyone on here (then again it's hardly like we have NWN Forum coffee evenings), but I wouldn't dare to brandish a county of guys as disrespectful based on a few internet posts. All of the females who I've encountered all say I'm caring, nice, sweet, etc, sure the same could be said for the rest of the gaggle of blokes on this forum. Just because we share our views and they don't happen to fall in line with your views doesn't make us ignorant.

PS I'm a woman.



Regardless, I found an opportunity to post a funny video.

Also on the topic of rape babies, if you are raped (one of my close friends was raped a couple of years ago, she is so worried and nervous she hardly goes out any more, completely changed her, don't think I don't know how nasty that is...) and you are left pregnant (my friend wasn't thankfully), why don't you have an abortion?

I don't want to turn this into a whole pros/cons of abortion thread, but looking at this logically, you are about to have a child which you cannot afford nor do you have the proper environment to raise it in. Simple thing to do is get it http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Abortion/Pages/Introduction.aspx. Especially within the first few months or so of the pregnancy. People who say "oh they are alive", and "the personality of the living creature" are entitled to their views but at the end of the day, if they are unable to support the baby and they choose not to abort, why should society have to pick up their mess?

My above point; callus, but a point worth making.

Posted by: Strafin Sep 24 2011, 08:44 PM

Lestat - Perhaps you should go back to Oxford, try and get yourself an education. Obviously not at one of the universities but I am sure there are some remedial groups that might have you. The point about rape was to show that no matter how clear cut something might seem there are horrible nasty things, completely out of a persons control that can lead to them being in a situation. We never know everything and shouldn't assume that we do, a point proven abundantly well by CBW herself just a few posts later.

Posted by: CBW137Y Sep 24 2011, 08:52 PM

As much as I've 'enjoyed' this evenings discussions before I cut my internet off next week (boo hoo, but needs must at the moment), I am quite frankly cream crackered, and going to bed to watch Live at the Apollo.

I sincerely hope the lady who this whole thread is about originally manages to pick herself up and get back on her feet. I know I intend to myself, whether it's with help from the local authority or no.

Never judge a book (thread) by its cover, folks. The bible is often leather bound and pretty looking, yet you only have to watch the news to see what that little collection of stories has done to the world

OK.....rambling rubbish now.

Nighty night all!

Posted by: Lestat Sep 24 2011, 08:52 PM

I assumed you to be a guy as you were offering your double bed to the two pregnant women and your profile states male, so I'm confused, are you male pretending to be female or female pretending to be male, regardless Strafin needs to realize that just sometimes in life things never go according to plan and these two pregnant ladies are just a small minority, I'm sure if they knew there relationships were not going to last they would not of planned there pregnancies and hence would not be in this predicament get so much ignorance and negativity. I agree if it was a single person asking for houses they should not be giving special treatment but there are children involved show some compassion would you have your new born baby on the streets living out of cardboard boxes, begging for money, answer is no

And I'm a male

Posted by: Strafin Sep 24 2011, 08:57 PM

Wonderful as it has been.....
I am off to bed as well. Regardless of your views and opinions everybody it has been quite the discussion, and I am prepared to admit that I have found it interesting and informative.

Night.

Posted by: xjay1337 Sep 24 2011, 09:03 PM

Has indeed been a very good discussion, best one for quite a while I must say.

Oh forgot that was on, thanks for the reminder lol. Anyway toodlepips



I am a male pretending to be a male pretending to be a female pretending to be a male. Also if I offered my double bed to the two pregnant ladies, where would I sleep? Baby bumps take up one and a half spaces.

You also assumed I was being serious so we shall leave your flawed assumptions behind, shall we?

I think Strafin makes a fair point though, so can't really argue against it.

I'm sure too that if they knew their relationships were going to blow up then, no they would perhaps of not gotten pregnant, but who's really to tell? I think no compassion should be involved, because people use pregnancy as a ticket into a free/cheap house. I work bloody hard for my poxy flat but if I was to have a child, I'd likely get a half decent house for a **** sight cheaper than what I'm paying now.

Now I UNDERSTAND that I don't know the full facts of the person we're talking about (not sure who myself now...) but the point is that here, a pregnancy is being used as a sort of levvy into housing. No-one wants to see a new born baby on the streets, but I tell you; if that started to happen I'm pretty sure that;

a.) People would have a dam (spelt incorrectly on purpose) sight less babies (means I can drink my coffee in Starbucks in peace), or at least PLAN their family in a better way (as in making sure your spouse is up to the challenge, not cheating on you for 2 years before hand, for example)
B.) People who couldn't afford to live or support themselves to begin with would not use pregnancy, burdening the benefit and support system even further, as a way to try and get a place to live - means tax payer is paying for accommodation, food, clothing, etc, plus already paying for hospital treatments, etc as required..
c.) Cake would be cheaper.

I'm a night owl, too busy playing PS3, watching iPlayer and random TV channels to switch off lol.

Posted by: Lestat Sep 24 2011, 09:05 PM

Lestat - Perhaps you should go back to Oxford, try and get yourself an education

Who said I was from Oxford, iv studied at uni, I'm just shocked at how guys can be towards women in Berkshire, it's that bad the council had to open a new commitee because of the high rise in domestic violence and I don't want to have discussions on this pls. I just want to know what has happened here for guys to be so negative towards women especially those who are pregnant?

Posted by: Lestat Sep 24 2011, 09:11 PM

@ xjay - I'm a night owl, too busy playing PS3, watching iPlayer and random TV channels to switch off lol.

so are you male or female, years ago I would say ur defame but these days even girls are gamers?

Posted by: Vodabury Sep 24 2011, 09:12 PM

<Lestat>, if you have studied at a University, then standards are worse than I thought.

Posted by: xjay1337 Sep 24 2011, 09:30 PM

I'm a male.

A male who respects females and whom a female has never called disrespectful, but polite, caring, sweet, and that's just the ones I weren't trying to sleep with!

(in case you didn't already realise I was not being SERIOUS on my last clause)

Posted by: Nothing Much Sep 25 2011, 10:08 AM

c.) Cake would be cheaper.

Careful XJAY.... Monsieur LeStat might have use of a Madame with a sharp edge.
ce

Posted by: Simon Sep 25 2011, 04:41 PM

Ok so my original post seems to have sparked a lot of posts and thanks to those who have offered advice.

I would like to point out she would have accepted the b&b but it was in slough and she couldn't afford the extra petrol to get to work.

Anyway the good news is I have found a friend who will rent her room for a couple of months so fingers crossed she will be able to use this time to find a more permanent home.

Sorry Xjay1337 but she won't be sharing a bed now but again thanks for the offer

Posted by: NWNREADER Sep 25 2011, 05:39 PM

Back to basics, I suspect some of the original 'concern' about the post was sparked by the implication the Council was at fault for not having available a property that exactly matched the needs of any individual who came upon a need. Their legal remit is to provide for the homeless, and they did so - as a short term emergency solution.

To say 'let's us down, again' (sic) is not fair in the described circumstances, I say.

Posted by: Strafin Sep 25 2011, 06:11 PM

Whatever your views or opinions on the situation, the thread, or it's title, I am pleased that the lady in question has managed to sort something, even if it is only temporary.

Posted by: NWNREADER Sep 25 2011, 06:12 PM

Agreed. Getting into a mess is easy.... getting out is harder.

Posted by: On the edge Sep 25 2011, 06:53 PM

Someone helped along the way - well done Simon
.

Posted by: Andy Capp Sep 27 2011, 11:56 PM

I posted something, then deleted it as I didn't want to perpetuate an argument. I wanted to let it drop.