Babys Grave row Options

[Ally_HP]

This is about: http://www.newburytoday.co.uk/News/Article...articleID=10762

Im disgusted at the town council for sending a letter to these grieving parents. I can understand if the parents didnt look after the grave or if it looked messy, but it doesnt.

It is bad enough losing an adult, but losing a baby is even more difficult, even more so for the mother after carrying the baby for 8 months. There is probally no more flowers/gifts than on a normal adault grave, but with all the family paying their respects and laying down all the flowers it must seem alot for the tiny grave. My sympathy goes to these parents, i think the town council is being far too harsh on them.

Give them some leaway! im sure if it was someone at the council, the rules wouldnt apply!

[Andrea]

I think it's nice they left ornaments. I don't understand what the issue was?

Although I'm having a case of deva-vu here... Hasn't this story already been covered.... several months ago? i've definitely read about this before and thought it was disgusting back then as well!

[Guest_Bill1_*]

I think it's nice they left ornaments. I don't understand what the issue was?

Although I'm having a case of deva-vu here... Hasn't this story already been covered.... several months ago? i've definitely read about this before and thought it was disgusting back then as well!

Andrea, I think this was a similarly distressing story in Hungerford.

Both TOWN Councils should hang their heads in shame, as should anyone who complained to them about the toys etc.

[Bloggo]

Andrea, I think this was a similarly distressing story in Hungerford.

Both TOWN Councils should hang their heads in shame, as should anyone who complained to them about the toys etc.

These Councils don't do themselves any favours do they?
What's wrong with a few small tributes?

[GMR]

Oh, I can understand why they do this sort of thing. Newbury Town council obviously want to make a splash and thought to themselves let us show how heartless we can be by targeting grieved or recently grieved family’s and pee them off.

It is probably an initiative by Newbury Town Council reactivating their awareness in the community policy. It is small-mindedness.

[Darren]

Hmm.

I can see both points of view on this one.

I can see why the parents wish to place a few little ornaments on a grave.

But I can also see why the council wish to limit the amount.

It is after all a cemetery and what one person considers a suitable memorial another considers disrespectful and an eyesore.

The letter wasn't a smart idea, if there is an issue, especially on something this emotive, a personal visit it would probably been better. At least they didn't just bin everything.

[GMR]

Hmm.

I can see both points of view on this one.

I can see why the parents wish to place a few little ornaments on a grave.

But I can also see why the council wish to limit the amount.

It is after all a cemetery and what one person considers a suitable memorial another considers disrespectful and an eyesore.

The letter wasn't a smart idea, if there is an issue, especially on something this emotive, a personal visit it would probably been better. At least they didn't just bin everything.

An ‘eyesore’? Nobody was actually living there so I wouldn’t actually call it an eyesore and what I can gather nobody complained . What those small minded officials have actually achieved for themselves is notoriety; maybe that is the point. Maybe they are doing an in-house willyhead competition and the one who can come up with the most thoughtless idea wins a trip to Skegness.

[Darren]

Can you lay off the Hitler analogies as I find it highly offensive.

[GMR]

Can you lay off the Hitler analogies as I find it highly offensive.

As it offends you I've edited my posts.

[graham]

Thats parthic typical west berks council wont look after never look at the main problems in newbury but rather poke there nose`s in other peoples buisness! that couple have lost a little child and that must hurt so a little time at a place where they share there thoughts together doesnt do any body any harm.
ive got grand parents buried at shaw cemetry and it always look nice and tidy its proberly the only part of newbury that gets maintained.West berks should read this forum and see what is actually going on in newbury instead of whats going on in the office, and as for the greveing couple stand your ground and dont be bullied by idiots i think the grave look lovely.

[Strafin]

I'm with the council 100% It is horrible I am sire to lose a loved one so young, but why should their grief be considered above everyone elses? A cemetry should be a relaxed and serene place for everyone. They have a designated area for these kinds of tributes, so they can still be used, but not forced on everyone who might not like it. I don't mean this to sound hardh, but it will, but it's been over 2 years as well, if the council sent a notice within a month or two I would take issue, sensitivity needs to be excercised, but how long should they wait?

[Guest_Bill1_*]

Thats parthic typical west berks council wont look after never look at the main problems in newbury but rather poke there nose`s in other peoples buisness! that couple have lost a little child and that must hurt so a little time at a place where they share there thoughts together doesnt do any body any harm.
ive got grand parents buried at shaw cemetry and it always look nice and tidy its proberly the only part of newbury that gets maintained.West berks should read this forum and see what is actually going on in newbury instead of whats going on in the office, and as for the greveing couple stand your ground and dont be bullied by idiots i think the grave look lovely.

ITS GOT CHUFF ALL TO DO WITH WEST BERKS COUNCIL

Firstly read the story again, secondly learn to write coherently, thirdly admit your mistake and put the blame where it lies.

[graham]

ITS GOT CHUFF ALL TO DO WITH WEST BERKS COUNCIL

Firstly read the story again, secondly learn to write coherently, thirdly admit your mistake and put the blame where it lies.

Firstly the aritcle mention`s newbury council is that not west berks?
secondly the couple mention that they maintain the area and its never untidy
thirdly what is your problem do you just write comments on here to wind people up?

if the area of the grave is a mess then yes i agree something should be done, but its a place of rememberance for them.My quote was that we have more important issue`s in and around Newbury rather than the council worrying about a grave.

[Guest_Bill1_*]

Andrea, I think this was a similarly distressing story in Hungerford.

Both TOWN Councils should hang their heads in shame, as should anyone who complained to them about the toys etc.

Erm Graham.............NO!

[Guest_Bill1_*]

[Strafin]

Graham, Newbury Town Council and West Berkshire council are completely different organisations. You may not have realised this but you really should, especially if you are going to be having a go at one or both of them. Secondly your post was pretty incoherent and although it's not always fair to have a go at people for spelling and suchlike, yours was so bad the state of the post kind of took over the point you were trying to make.

[GMR]

Graham, Newbury Town Council and West Berkshire council are completely different organisations. You may not have realised this but you really should, especially if you are going to be having a go at one or both of them. Secondly your post was pretty incoherent and although it's not always fair to have a go at people for spelling and suchlike, yours was so bad the state of the post kind of took over the point you were trying to make.

Newbury council and WBC maybe totally different (as in representation) but they get their staff from the same gene pool; that is why there are so many similarities. You can't blame him for being confused

[JeffG]

they get their staff from the same gene pool

Visions of Bill1 creating lots of little council members-in-waiting...

Back to the topic. From the picture it doesn't look too overcrowded to me, and as for complaints - the article quotes the letter as saying that there had been some. I visit there fairly regularly, and yes to me some of the decorations seem a bit OTT (not the one in question, though), but it would never enter my head to complain. How petty-minded! People grieve in different ways, and if decorations help some, then that's fine by me.

[Familytreeingfor...]

I think it is dreadful that they would even think to send a letter like this to a family who are obviously grieving for their loss, if it helps them to put teddy bears etc... around their son's grave then why shouldn't they!?!

I often go to Shaw for researching my family history, and to visit my grandparents' graves, and it is sad to see the amount of people who don't tend for their relatives' graves.

Surely it is nice that they are looking after the grave, actually saving someone who works at Shaw the time of having to do it themselves?

The Council obviously have nothing to do if they are dealing with something like this, which really they don't need be to getting involved in. Surely someone there must think what it must be like to lose a child?

[CarolineC]

I find it very disturbing that a family should be sent this letter. This is characteristic of Newbury Council showing their coldness at its most awful and what it is most famous for. Cold and callous, misappropriation of funds and trampling over residence in a most heinous fashion = Newbury Council.

What twisted employee signed this letter I wonder? Who is trying to enforce this 'rule' and why are they not sending letters to those family who don't attend their loved one's resting places?

I find it shocking that Newbury Council will remove this family's decorations if the family doesn’t remove them. Who are these twits that have been voted onto the Council, who have nothing better to do with their time than to further add to a family's grief?

It is beyond ridiculous yet not surprising to me as it is keeping with Newbury's Neolithic jobs worth council who were elected to 'serve' the residents of Newbury. I feel this family should take this letter to the European Court of Justice. Let everyone know what a sad, thoughtless and prejudice Council, Newbury residents have the bad luck to have. I am certain that this family would have total support of every civilized person.