Sainsbury's restraunt Options

[Andy Capp]

How do you find your way home?

The smell of, well, you know!

[Nothing Much]

A coin.... Heads =go left
Tails =go right.



It works for me sometimes!
ce

[Guest_xjay1337_*]

The smell of, well, you know!

Actually not too far from the truth.

[NWNREADER]

Actually not too far from the truth.

Cannabis?

[Guest_xjay1337_*]

NOooOo.

[NWNREADER]

Biut surely, you are a drug-taking, charity-box thieving, old lady bashing ruffian? It's obvious

[Guest_xjay1337_*]

Well, the drugs no. Just like Justin Beiber, I'd never say never. Unless it's to drugs. Although thieving the charity box reminded me of a good memory that I had when I was younger. I'm very tired so I'll share tomorrow Also the last old lady I tried to rob actually kicked MY ***, where's the justice in that?

[NWNREADER]

She kicked you? I hope you reported her? Disgraceful!

[Guest_xjay1337_*]

Yeah. I tried to rob her handbag thinking she was just a little old lady, completely helpless against my attacks. However she was actually a black belt Sensei in Judo or something.. So she grabbed me in an arm lock and promptly placed my backside upon the ground. Needless to say I gave a million apologies and threw her bag like bait, so she would leave me alone and I can make a timely exit. I was sore for several days.

Anyway my tale that I would have mentioned yesterday - charity boxes. I was about 12 and I walked out of Woolworths with my bag of over-priced Pic'n'Mix in one hand, and a massive water pistol (it was more of a machine gun if I'm honest) in the other. Anyway I was with my friend, also aged approximately 12. When I was 10 or 11 I also had a friend who was about 17, we called him Big Ben. Then my Mum said I couldn't hang around with him anymore. Meddling woman.
Anyway - I was poached upon by one of those people with a clip board and a lanyard around their neck. They said "HELLO THERE HOW ARE YOU *HAPPY FACE" -um ok thanks you? "GREAT EXCELLENT IM GREAT. HEY LISTEN CAN WE ASK YOU SOME QUESTIONS"

So they asked us some things about jobs or education or what our favourite adult movies were (mine was Spiderman at the time) and anyway after that, they then said "thanks for the help. oh yeah by the way ... *jingles tin of money infront of me* . I had never had this before so I thought he was offering it to me. So I was like "gee, thanks mister!" and went to grab it, thinking this was a payment for several hours (minutes)of my time.
However at the last minute it was pulled away from me. Like in the Inbetweeners when Will almost gets some happy times by that girl and then he blows it at the last moment. Anyway the guy with the clipboard was shocked
"What are you doing???!!" - you were giving me money *puppy dog eyes*
and I was informed that I was "supposed to donate" to their charity or something. -I'm 12 (or something.. i bleated. how am I to pay for that? I only survive on shirt buttons and pocket money.
"There are people less fortunate than you" -oh yeah? i said and I kicked him in the shin.
His colleague standing to his side found it funny.

I'm very lucky. I had typed all of this above and then I accidentally closed my browser. Luckily when I used Firefox's "restore previous session" option not only did it restore my old tabs but also included all of the writing. Very nice feature must be said.

[NWNREADER]

You took on a chugger? Not exactly ruffian behaviour......

[Andy Capp]

[massifheed]

...oh yeah? i said and I kicked him in the shin.

Would be nice if, along with Newbury News and Random Rants, Admin could add a creche section for xjay to play in.

[Guest_xjay1337_*]

I'd like that.
An "off topic" area - because this forum only promotes news or moaning (Newbury News / Random Rants) - Why not an off topic area, an area for discussing things other than News or people moaning about people doing 71mph on the A34..
That way we can talk about other things such as interests and hobbies and share pictures and good times

[JeffG]

What would be the point of that, when you have the whole of Digital Spy to play in (and use their server space)?

[Guest_xjay1337_*]

Sorry, I pay my council tax - I'm entitled to approx 3kb of writing per post. In fact server space is so over-rated, with Google Mail I get an extra 850kb a day free.
I post on lots of forums but since I live within Newbury (well thatcham but half of the people who post on here don't even live in Berkshire so they can shut up) I am allowed to you bumder.
Besides Digital Spy forums are full of boring techy-types and I get enough of those lot already

[NORTHENDER]

There is one forum you may or may not want to look at XJ.
The link is in the signature of one of the members on here.
Now those people are real nutters. There are about 6-8 admin
staff that only talk to each other to say three times a day
either, good morning, good afternoon, good evening, or, its
cold. Stick with this one mate at least some of the members
seem normal (discount nothing much as he's looooopy)

[Andy Capp]

I'd like that.
An "off topic" area - because this forum only promotes news or moaning (Newbury News / Random Rants) - Why not an off topic area, an area for discussing things other than News or people moaning about people doing 71mph on the A34..
That way we can talk about other things such as interests and hobbies and share pictures and good times

Random Rants already caters for this. BTW - who has moaned about any one driving 71mph on the A34. I haven't seen any one do that?

The golden rule is: if you post an opinion, you will almost certainly have someone disagree, for what ever reason they might have; you should just learn to deal with it. After all, it was you who once promoted a freedom of expression including anything that insults. It seems, though, when the tables are turned, you get uppity.

[Guest_xjay1337_*]

Andy, again with the literalism. I bet when your wife (if you have one) said "phwoar, I'm going to **** the **** out of you tonight" you'd probably come back with some clever remark about how it's impossible to push and withdraw objects in and out of holes in a way in which would be vicious enough to cause all remains of poopie to exit your body. The 4 ****'s could mean any of the words which are 4 letters (including fu..dge and sh...ingles) - but I guarantee they are not the 2 which instantly spring to mind
Except when you are walking down the Eiffel tower and accidental look down. I needed new pants after that experience.

The golden rule is: I would hasten to say I have been on forums longer than you (I presume anyway, you may have been around since IRC days, if so fair play clap clap well done) - but I've been posting on bulletin boards and forums since I was old enough to use a keyboard and type somewhat literally, getting on for 12 years now. I generally know how they work.

In those times I have discussed how Barney the Dinosaur is the best show on TV, how I genuinely believed songs were only about 2-3 minutes long because the instruments got too hot and needed to cool down, right through to serious subjects such as why I think David Cameron is an utter w***er (that is the word you're thinking of) and debates on how women and feminism often mix to create one very stuck up, egotistical and out of touch with reality person. "i should be able to walk down the street with no shirt on if I wanted and not get attention" - uh no you shouldn't, love. Like people who hate being called dear or love or darling on a bus, I saw that BBC news article. I thought "what a bunch of old todge "only one's other half is refered to as dear" yeah well go away you pompous t**t.
"i wish to be addressed as mr/ms blah blah by the riff raff or sir or madame"...are you a dame? or do you have a knight hood? no?
well sit down and shut up before i slam the brakes on really hard in my bus and watch as you roll around the floor in your tweed jacket. That would be funny although it's not something I recommend you try at home I take no responsibility for that if it happens to you it is not me driving do not sue me :|
unless it's a paying customer doing business, you are mate/chap/bud/dear/love/darling to me. not that I am a cockney. I'm quite poshly spoken although I can talk lyk im from landan bruv qwait well init.

I do promote freedom of expression including banter. I've never (never ever) insulted someone on this forum (although I have on many others) in a serious manner so silence, I kill you. And neither really has anyone insulted me, aside from some snidey comments from some members (all of which I shrug off, I wax myself thoroughly, insults are like water, they bead on the surface and then evaporate away without leaving any watermarks) about how I am a child and blah blah and I couldn't care because I'm happy and most of them are probably miserable and deep down want to cry and eat ice cream (to be honest, who wouldn't want ice-cream? it's brilliant especially when you get a girl to lick it off your face or other areas... hands?)

Talking of face I have a rash which has been diagnosed as AIDS so I'm contagious, stay away!!! (it's not it's some sort of allergy apparently I have a cream )

I can take your insults and jiggly comments, and an more than up to competing in a serious debate when it's an issue that actually interests me - as in nothing to do with "Cllr (seriously type councillor you illiterate tarts) Blah blah look at me" or "how my allotment shed ruined my life" - eg the A34 / speeding thread, more than capable of entering into a reasoned discussion albiet with my own style of posting. I still get the point across. Uppity my rotund backside which has just produced quite a smell. It was the lunch I had.
Anyway well done Andy, another thread de-railed. What's the count up to now?

There is one forum you may or may not want to look at XJ.
The link is in the signature of one of the members on here.
Now those people are real nutters. There are about 6-8 admin
staff that only talk to each other to say three times a day
either, good morning, good afternoon, good evening, or, its
cold. Stick with this one mate at least some of the members
seem normal (discount nothing much as he's looooopy)

I do not know the forum you are talking about... wait. I might have. I remember it hardly had any posts hence why I didn't sign up. I like NothingMuch. I imagine him to be old and fraile yet someone who is really cool at the same time. Although I feel like his is not quite as old as my mental picture is painting (I'm not very good with art) I'm sure he's getting around quite happily and seems to be enjoying himself. Good for him.
I hope I am like him when I grow up. :')

[Andy Capp]

Andy, again with the literalism. I bet when your wife (if you have one) said "phwoar, I'm going to **** the **** out of you tonight" you'd probably come back with some clever remark about how it's impossible to push and withdraw objects in and out of holes in a way in which would be vicious enough to cause all remains of poopie to exit your body. The 4 ****'s could mean any of the words which are 4 letters (including fu..dge and sh...ingles) - but I guarantee they are not the 2 which instantly spring to mind
Except when you are walking down the Eiffel tower and accidental look down. I needed new pants after that experience.

The golden rule is: I would hasten to say I have been on forums longer than you (I presume anyway, you may have been around since IRC days, if so fair play clap clap well done) - but I've been posting on bulletin boards and forums since I was old enough to use a keyboard and type somewhat literally, getting on for 12 years now. I generally know how they work.

In those times I have discussed how Barney the Dinosaur is the best show on TV, how I genuinely believed songs were only about 2-3 minutes long because the instruments got too hot and needed to cool down, right through to serious subjects such as why I think David Cameron is an utter w***er (that is the word you're thinking of) and debates on how women and feminism often mix to create one very stuck up, egotistical and out of touch with reality person. "i should be able to walk down the street with no shirt on if I wanted and not get attention" - uh no you shouldn't, love. Like people who hate being called dear or love or darling on a bus, I saw that BBC news article. I thought "what a bunch of old todge "only one's other half is refered to as dear" yeah well go away you pompous t**t.

Anyway:

I do promote freedom of expression including banter. I've never (never ever) insulted someone on this forum (although I have on many others) in a serious manner so silence, I kill you. And neither really has anyone insulted me, aside from some snidey comments from some members (all of which I shrug off, I wax myself thoroughly, insults are like water, they bead on the surface and then evaporate away without leaving any watermarks) about how I am a child and blah blah and I couldn't care because I'm happy and most of them are probably miserable and deep down want to cry and eat ice cream (to be honest, who wouldn't want ice-cream? it's brilliant especially when you get a girl to lick it off your face or other areas... hands?)

Talking of face I have a rash which has been diagnosed as AIDS so I'm contagious, stay away!!! (it's not it's some sort of allergy apparently I have a cream )

I can take your insults and jiggly comments, and an more than up to competing in a serious debate when it's an issue that actually interests me - as in nothing to do with "Cllr (seriously type councillor you illiterate tarts) Blah blah look at me" or "how my allotment shed ruined my life" - eg the A34 / speeding thread, more than capable of entering into a reasoned discussion albiet with my own style of posting. I still get the point across. Uppity my rotund backside which has just produced quite a smell. It was the lunch I had.

Like I said, 'a bit of criticism ... '.

I'd like to add that this is meant to be a family forum and while you have a wealth of experience using these things, it would be nice if you could avoid some of your more vulgar analogies.

Anyway well done Andy, another thread de-railed. What's the count up to now?

It is impossible for one person to be entirely responsible for derailing threads.

[Guest_xjay1337_*]

No criticism at all. I'm criticised on a daily basis, either someone at work or a friend. I don't really care about what people on the internet say, or what my family says. It sucks when it's my friends or colleagues.

I just like writing stories and being imaginative. What I could have said was:

"You're too literal Andy, you pick at everything I say without reason. I've been posting on a lot of forums for a long time, and I'm more than capable of standing up to and taking comments made towards myself. I don't insult people on this forum, I'm off to bake a cake."

but instead I pad it out. Sort of like what some girls do on a night out. Why, I don't know. When you get them home and find it's a few socks....at least it's not so embarrassing when they find out you've done the same.