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> Self tanning and other beauty treatments...
spartacus
post Mar 24 2017, 11:38 AM
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It's probably a regular occurrence for drunks to be pissing themselves in the back of panda cars as they get carted away and for tramps to be dragged into the cells when they have keks with more skid marks than the starting grid at Santa Pod, but I bet Stuart Nicholls regrets using his bum crayons to redecorate his cell and himself. Probably ended up with a fair amount on himself too (I understand the police call it 'bronzing up' when scroats smear themselves so that coppers don't touch them)

I wonder if his work involves him handling food? And I wonder how proud his family are of his 15 minutes of fame....

..blames the fact of being sat on by a few officers while getting cuffed for the explosion in his boxers... and his anger issues for why he then decided to wipe his bum mud over the magnolia walls of his cell...

His brief said in Court “He had a full bowel and the pressure of four police officers on his back caused him to involuntarily mess himself. He was very embarrassed and asked for material to clean it up and when these were not provided, he took it out on the cell.”

He was in Cell Number Three... it would have been nice if he'd been in Number Two when he had his number two poo when the daft sod decided to redecorate the place with his own bum crayons... probably thought "This'll teach those coppers"

Except the Newbury bobbies thought he might want to fully appreciate his artwork and fecal smearings so left him in it.. He's several hundred quid lighter now too after being made to pay to clean the place up. Hopefully he's got a few quid spare for some clean grollies

$hit happens
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Turin Machine
post Mar 24 2017, 04:59 PM
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Oh lord. !! laugh.gif


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Gammon. And proud!
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