Speed bumps, Or more like "sheer cliffs" (plus the idiots that drive over t Options

[Guest_jaycakes_*]

I have a problem with some of the speed bumps in this county. Specifically Berkshire in general, other areas I found aren't quite so bad.

Some of the speed bumps are CLEARLY way too high/steep/sharp. I know there must be some sort of regulation on maximum height and I poop you not some of the ones I've had to drive over, yeah.....

It's sort of like climbing up Everest, just without the flag, or sense of achievement, or award from Michael Palin or some other fellow.

I have a lowered car. Oh "it's my own fault" you'll probably say but it's not. It's low but "usable" low, in the words of the car scene, that is low so it looks good without affecting every day driveability on "normal" roads.

Down station road for example, in Thatcham, some of those are a bit violent but my car manages quite happily with those.
When I say violent I mean that it feels like you are driving up a curb and then dropping off the face of the entire earth on your return back down to the normal road. I swear you should be provided a parachute for some of them.

Now continuing on, down Craven Road in Newbury, forget it. EVERY single speedbump my car is gouging bits out of it's metal under-running and hard-plastic side panels. People turn and look, is it a bird, is a plane? No it's just jaycakes on another bloody speedbump.

I have to straddle two of them at about 1mph to avoid smashing bits of my car much to the annoyance of other road users.

Luckily my Golf Mk5 doesn't suffer from exposed underbelly parts such as sumps. If you have a Golf Mk4 with say a 1.8T engine you can forget it because even at standard ride height you could easily smash your sump and thus lose oil and consequently death will occur. And if that DID happen I hardly think the council/highways agency would cover the cost of a new sump (about £300 inc of labour + oil) because of their ****-up.

Up over in Turnpike as well, a standard Vauxhall Vectra I saw smash it's underparts on a speedbump and neither was he-she-it going particularly fast (well it's a Vectra they are incapable of going fast) so it's not just people with modded cars.
They do no good whatsoever to your suspension components especially your springs, many of which snap.


And that brings me onto my next point, point...point!!!! Wait, what exactly?
My car is lowered like I said. So I go quite slowly over speedbumps. Partly to protect my car but partly to protect my back and other various joints and fleshy bits. Also means my manboobs jiggle about less which is always good.

And every time at one point or another in my day some IDIOT will be sat about 1 inch from my rear bumper as if to say "HURRY UP IM IN A HURRY TO GO SOMEWHERE NOT IMPORTANT PROBABLY TO THE SHOPS OR HOME TO MY WIFE WHO SECRETLY HATES ME".
Or even more annoyingly they will come screaming past doing about 30 or 40mph in a 20 or 30 mph zone. This really frigging annoys me because it's just a lack of a) road safety, these are often built up areas with children and schools and middle aged men in vans with sweets, and over taking like that is impatient..

More often than not they shake their head as I turn off or come flying past... sorry, smh at you, you idiot.

To counter this I placed a "I </3 speedbumps" in my rear window hoping this would alert some of the idiots who are allowed on the roads to have some idea as to why I may be going slower than they would appreciate but it doesn't seem to help. I have half a mind to wait for the next moron to sit on my **** and slam my brakes on, get out and approach the drivers window of this car and say "what the %$^# do you think you're doing do you have a problem?" and that's when a big scary man gets out but hey if they are smaller than me it could work.

Also to the woman tonight who moaned at me for driving out of an alleyway in the dusk with my headlights on at 5mph....I saw her, applied brakes, edged out and a man on a bicycle was on the path and he had stopped. I always say sorry if I am in that situation but this woman insisted on speaking for the man.... "you should have slowed down!!" SORRY I WAS ONLY DOING 5 YOU STUPID WOMAN AND I'M SURE THE MAN IS MORE THAN MAN ENOUGH TO TALK TO ME SHOULD HE FEEL I'VE DONE SOMETHING WRONG.

And we all know what happens when you mix women with driving... that's why Penelope has a driver.

I mean to get some photos to show the problem but it's hard and people would think I'm a weirdo.

[Jayjay]

Just done an internet search but can't find the article, maybe too early in the morning, but I can recall speed humps being put in upside down so they were twice as high as the should be.

[Grumpy]

Would agree with you on Craven Road. They must be the wrong height at the western end, judging by the scars on the humps.

[NWNREADER]

This may help, although it would be necessary to be in the carriageway with a tape measure.....

Speed Hump legislation

and

[Strafin]

I hate them to, but tend to travel at a reasonable speed over them. If you have lowered a car whilst living around here then you probably should have thought about it a bit more. If you suddenly slow down to go over a speed bump, people will sit on your bumper, I would say that they are designed for standard cars and if they comply with the legislation then I don't agree with you in the most part. I would be interested if you find any that are not though.

[Andy Capp]

Speed humps are an utter nuisance.

[Penelope]

My Parker manages quite well, although he is a sweetie.

[Squelchy]

So let me get this right, you have a lowered car and you're complaining that as a result, you're hitting some speed bumps in the area?

Why not move to Heathrow and then complain about aircraft noise?

[JeffG]

I don't have a problem with most speed bumps, except for one in Rockingham Road approaching St Michael's Road going towards Enborne Road, which has a trailing edge like a cliff. Then there's the one at the entrance to the Northbrook multi-storey which is a nightmare.

The double pad variety are less of a problem for my Qashqai, like Craven Road or Kiln Road, as I don't really notice them if I can straddle them amidships. Depends on oncoming traffic, though

[NWNREADER]

Those constructed to specification should be no problem to most cars - 4" ground clearance. Some top-end sports cars will be a problem as they have long and low nose skirts ex-factory.

The real problem is those that are built too high and/or not maintained - the broken edges rip lumps out of the inside shoulder of a tyre where the damage is mostly invisible until........

[Guest_jaycakes_*]

This may help, although it would be necessary to be in the carriageway with a tape measure.....

Speed Hump legislation

and

Cheers for that I will have a read after work.

So let me get this right, you have a lowered car and you're complaining that as a result, you're hitting some speed bumps in the area?

Yes I am. And if you, like some other fellow has said, look at the gouges out of most of the speedbumps you'll see that it's not my "fault"

Here's how "low" my car is


Low but not stupidly low. I have a low profile jack which is 80mm because a normal jack won't fit underneath, and I can get that 80mm jack in with about an inch of space left giving me about 3-4 inches of ground clearance anyway.
The problem I find is in the stupid straddle-y ones, they are so worn away that you drive over the broken edges and the middle bit goes right up under your car.

A few months ago I was on a "spirited" drive shall we say over near Tadley on some of the roads and I hit a pothole which broke my ABS and ESP. It was so violent it caused wires to snap to the wheel speed sensors. All in all it cost me about £190 to fix (because it broke twice if that makes sense) and when I went to get a picture of it a week later, oh guess what, it was filled...

[gel]

See

http://www.honestjohn.co.uk/faq/speed-humps/

[spartacus]

See
http://www.honestjohn.co.uk/faq/speed-humps/

"They have caused elderly pedestrians to trip and break bones."
Really??! I'd suggest that someone who could trip, fall and break a bone because of a speed cushion would be a danger to themselves if they stepped off a kerbstone....

[spartacus]

Point 1 - The speed cushions/humps in Craven Road area Newbury or Station Road Thatcham etc are in 20mph zones. Remember that's the MAXIMUM speed you're meant to be doing. If you're having to crawl across them at 10mph then they're doing their job.

Point 2 - Roads with speed humps on are signposted in advance so that drivers of cars that might have problems (our local Ferrari owners, Diablo owners or even 'modded' Corsa/Golf owners for instance) can take avoiding action and use a different road.

Point 3 - If you get 'sports suspension', ultra low profile tyres and then lower the suspension further then why are you complaining that you feel every single bump in the road? Caveat emptor You get what you pay for and with lowered suspension you've bought something that's going to bring you closer to the road surface...

[On the edge]

I'll doubtless get into trouble for saying - after the recent tussles with Parkway Bridge access sign-age, a mate of mine suggested that the 'speed bumps' are essentially Braille road signs for blind drivers.

[Guest_jaycakes_*]

Fair points which I shall counter which some jaycakes logic.

Point 1 - The speed cushions/humps in Craven Road area Newbury or Station Road Thatcham etc are in 20mph zones. Remember that's the MAXIMUM speed you're meant to be doing. If you're having to crawl across them at 10mph then they're doing their job.

I for one would be driving down the road at 20mph anyway. Also station road is a 30 for the most part.

Point 2 - Roads with speed humps on are signposted in advance so that drivers of cars that might have problems (our local Ferrari owners, Diablo owners or even 'modded' Corsa/Golf owners for instance) can take avoiding action and use a different road.

There are certain roads down Craven Road and others which have no different available route. I shouldn't have to use a different route I should be able to drive down a road without smashing my car to pieces.

Point 3 - If you get 'sports suspension', ultra low profile tyres and then lower the suspension further then why are you complaining that you feel every single bump in the road? Caveat emptor You get what you pay for and with lowered suspension you've bought something that's going to bring you closer to the road surface...

It's a problem even for standard cars as well! I am not complaining about the ride quality and bumps in general, I am complaining specifically about speed bumps. my car itself is not uncomfortable but thanks for the info.

[HeatherW]

Do speed bumps actually work? I have seen cars and bikes speed in between them and others just race over them. I suppose they would be ok if they worked. Then again I suppose that depends on the bumps. But if some are good, while others are ineffective then what is the point?

[NWNREADER]

Do speed bumps actually work? I have seen cars and bikes speed in between them and others just race over them. I suppose they would be ok if they worked. Then again I suppose that depends on the bumps. But if some are good, while others are ineffective then what is the point?

Of course they work!!!! Doh!!!
Why else would Highways Engineers construct them......

[HeatherW]

Of course they work!!!! Doh!!!
Why else would Highways Engineers construct them......

To annoy the public!

[andy1979uk]

To annoy the public!

But I dont see the need to lower a standard Golf anyway ? I have a Mk5 GTI and have no problems